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Money and Mustaches

By Dian Vujovich

This blog is based on what appears to be a survey by a ficticious firm.

I distinctly recall the time I passed by one of cosmetic counters at Bloomingdale’s and the sales rep smiled kindly at me then said, “You really do need to do something about that mustache.”

I nearly fainted. All I could think was, “OMG. A mustache! I didn’t know I had one. And if I did, surely it wasn’t noticeable.” Then, as you might expect, I proceeded to spend a wad on making that unsightly, way too unfeminine thing disappear—if only for a few weeks.

I’m guessing most women would have reacted much the same way. And therein lies one of the many differences between the sexes—facial hair. How that relates to money might surprise you.

As it turns out, guys sporting a mustache these days have something to crow about. They’re probably making more money than the manly men wearing beards or the clean-shaven blokes. And they’re big spenders, too. This data gleaned from a recent study commissioned by the American Mustache Institute. (Who knew there even was such a place.)

Anyway, if you want your Tommy to earn bigger bucks then his brother Joey, allow him to shave just his side burns, chin and neck leaving the upper lip to nature, creatively, a comb and a little wax.

According to the research, guys with mustaches earned 8.2 percent more than those with beards or the clean-shaven. And they enjoy spending their disposable income on things like toiletries, teeth whitening, alcoholic beverages, Hall & Oates music, Speedos, leather pants and tank-top tee shirts. (Yikes!) Oh, they also like watching DVDs staring macho men like Chuck Norris, Billy Dee Williams and our very own Burt Reynolds.

Guys with beards didn’t spend like that. They’re into beard combs, breakfast pastries, lice removal kits, overalls and semi-automatic weapons.

As for the clean-shaven, it’s Levi Dockers, vitamin supplements, strip-mall haircuts, signet rings and fitness waters that they prefer.

Kind of makes spending money on electrolysis, laser treatments or waxing seem almost frugal doesn’t it.

Read the full white paper survey at the American Mustache Institute’s site at http://tinyurl.com/yl8offk.

To read more articles, please visit the column archive.

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